Oh stop being such an angry vegan. You’re scaring people away from being vegan. In fact all the vegans will stop being vegan because they won’t want people to think they’re all militant like you. I just want to relax, drink my almond latte, eat my açaí bowl, enjoy the vegan options at Burger King and go to fine-dining vegan restaurants without people lecturing me on animal slaughter, mutilation and abuse. You’re making me lose my appetite! I have a busy life and haven’t got time to think about this. Now if you’ll excuse me I was just about to go and have brunch and replace the eggs with scrambled tofu. I’m vegan.