April Fool’s put a vegan in the White House

What would the world be like with a vegan in the drivers’ seat of one of the greatest political powers in this modern age? America, land of the beer gut, baseball and burgers, with a vegan in power – realistically, the only way to get a vegan in the White House would be for the majority of red-meat America to adopt some form of veg*n diet. But since this is a complete fabrication of an idea, with no serious grounding for at least another Presidential term, lets just say, the American people voted in that vegan, what could we expect?

Abolition of the death penalty for a start. The reasoning is obvious I should think. However if you’re against the cruel treatment and murder of animals but you support the death penalty I’d be interested to understand this contradiction in morals. And while we’re saving lives in America, lets skip over to Iraq, pull out all the troops there and save some lives on both sides of the conflict. Stricter controls and more disclosure on the treatment of people being detained for suspected terrorist activities and those who become guests at Guantanamo Bay and others of its ilk. And a strengthened enforcement on gun control to decrease the amount of violence and murder. Now that people are being treated ethically, there’s less murder, mistreatment and abuse, lets look at some of the other sunnier changes a First Vegan could bring.

Restoring family farmland, developing plots of land throughout the nation where people can grow their own food. Promoting sustainable agriculture on American soil. Eliminating the chicken and beef industries would cripple the economy, put a lot of hard working farmers out of work, so this would be an unlikely event, but a revamp on the treatment and conditions animals are housed in would be a massive plus. Also, the removal of genetically modified foods from American shelves. From an economic stand point this would be an advantage as there would be an increase in foods exported to Europe, a continent where there is a strict ban on all GM products. All these new (or bigger) family farms and city garden plots would have more people salivating about the abundance of fresh, healthy, delicious produce, ultimately having them opt out of the line up at their local McDonalds. And on a global scale, more people growing food, means a greater overall production in food, which means more food that can be sent overseas to countries where the majority of the population is suffering from malnutrition and starvation.

There are heaps of other examples I could illuminate, however, I think it’s enough to say that with a vegan in the White House everything is coming up roses. Too bad it was all a joke.

Feel free to disagree with every word of this, as there is no way to support or deny any of my claims for as I said at the beginning this started as an April Fools joke and carried onto a hypothetical examination of an improbable situation. And I apologize for cataloguing America as a little meat obsessed, but as it stands, veg*ns are still in the minority, this is not an unsubstantiated idea. Thank you for reading.