Vegetarian Humor
Comics, cartoons, jokes, funnys, quotes, & more
I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals,
it's because I hate vegetables!
- Woody Allen
Oh dear I love you.
But if you'll beetroot to me,
I'll beetroot to you.
| Cartoons by Heather McAdams (click to enlarge) |
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Top 10 Veg Pick Up Lines:
1. If I said you had the body of an all-natural, organic-living, animal-loving, environment-nurturing, whale-saving sex machine, would you hold it against me? Please?
2. May I take your picture? It’s for the World’s Sexiest Vegetarian competition.
3. Could you help me out? I’m trying to decide if I want to keep these new hemp sheets, but I need a second opinion.
4. Your organic cotton t-shirt looks really soft. Can I feel it?
5. Wanna come up and see my Vitamix?
6. What’s your favorite thing to do with agave nectar?
7. Do you like my new skirt? I love pleather but it makes me all hot and sweaty.
8. Mmmmm. I could really go for a hot veggie dog right about now.
9. I’ll eat Hip Whip on anything.
10. How do you get your protein?
- courtesy of VegNews - |
Why did the tomato blush?
Because he saw the salad, dressing.
What did the lettuce say to the celery?
-Are you stalking me? |
Why did the Tomato go out with a prune?
-Because he couldn't find a date! |
Click on below images to view the comics strips...
Vance Lehmkuhl - http://home.earthlink.net/~soyjoy
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If you use any of these in your signature file forum,
please kindly include a link to HappyCow.Net |
see more like these at: Vegetus
What did one vegetarian spy say to the other vegetarian spy?
We have to stop meating like this.
Why do people kill animals?
Fur convenience steak.
Avec toutes les saloperies qu'on met dans la viande, hormones de croissance, antibiotiques etc on va tous y rester, il n'y a que les vegetariens qui vont s'en sortir, alors un conseil, si vous voulez manger de la bonne viande, mangez des vegetariens!
(English translation:)
With all this crap they put in meat, like hormones for fast growing, antibiotics, etc... we will all go down, there’s only the vegetarians that will survive – so let me give you a good piece of advice: if you want to eat some healthy meat, eat a vegetarian!
-JeanLuc LeMoine, French humorist
Did you hear about the vegan devil worshipper?
-He sold his soul to seitan!
What's on a honeymoon salad?
-Lettuce alone with no dressin'. |
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli ?
-Kids don't eat broccoli.
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Mrs. Smith had cooked a halfway decent meal one night, and the old Smith had been goin' at it with gusto. He was about halfway finished his meal when he took a good long look at the potato. He looked over at Mrs. Smith and said, "This potato is bad." Mrs. Smith picked it up, smacked it, and put it back on his plate... then said, "If that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."
What do you call a vegetarian who goes back to eating meat?
-Someone who lost their veg-inity! |
Have you heard of the garlic diet?
-You don't lose much weight, but from a distance, your friends think you look thinner. |
HEY YOU -
Got funny vegetarian related jokes?
Email us :o~
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If anything on this humor page was used without the proper or necessary permission, we apologize and look forward to hearing from you.
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